Monday, May 26, 2014

College Woes

I am getting more and more restless as each day goes by. The thought that I still have to cope with this college choice I've made for one more year just drains all of the energy out of me.

Recently, when I was having a full-day lecture on accounting-related subjects, I thought to myself- " I am not happy in college". Of course, I know that all along but that day I was reminded about it. Once I'd survived my morning class that day, I couldn't or maybe, wouldn't even try to fake a smile. My peers just assumed that I'm super tired that day, which in actual fact, I am.  My peers, though facing the same pressure and workload as I am with our college programme, seem to be enjoying it. I just couldn't.
 Guess I'm the only one who regrets my college choice then?

Even though I'm not loving my college major, I still had a sliver of hope that maybe if I hang in there long enough, I could learn to like it as my parents suggested me to. And if I do, maybe after obtaining my diploma, I would stick around  to obtain a degree in the same major? That's one of the things that has got me preoccupied lately.

The thing is, I don't even know what I want to do in life. Before graduating from high school, I only think that going to college or university is just for personal development, to gain knowledge in whatever field you're interested in. But then, graduation day came and went and people started asking:

"What do you want to do in life?"
"What do you plan to major in?"

And if you said that you want to major in something that your society considers to be useless, like sociology, most would remark:

"What's sociology?" 
" What jobs can you get with that degree?"

Even when you mention that you have desire to major in something that your society considers to be more employable such as law, people who think that they know you well remarked:

"Are you sure that you're capable of becoming a lawyer?"
"You're so shy! You won't make it as one."
"Law is so boring. I thought you're into sociology?"

Wow. Just wow. 
There goes another one of my dilemma.

It seems that most of everyone I know feel that the whole purpose of getting tertiary education is more about getting a "useful" degree and get a good job out of it. 

Is that what I really want out of my tertiary education? Go to college just for the sake of getting a good job?

I'm afraid not. THAT is most definitely NOT what I want. I mean, sure, being able to get a "good job" sounds great, but I do want to grow as a scholar and to deepen my knowledge in fields that I actually care about.

I guess even though I try to go against all the hype and not follow the latest fad just because the society thinks that they're cool so everyone should follow it, I still want to be accepted by my society. What the society thinks about the majors will one way or the other affect my decision, eventually. We'll see about that.

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