Saturday, February 8, 2014

What if I just quit? I could start all over again, right?

I've been questioning about my choice of pre-university programme ever since forever (Technically, I wouldn't even call it a 'choice', more of a 'coincidence' or something that just happened.)

To tell the truth, I've been contemplating if I should write a post on this matter. I wanna be honest but I was an emotional wreck when I finally woke up to the reality of what I let happened, I just couldn't bring myself to blog about it, let alone talk openly about it.

I'm currently taking diploma in accounting in a small college institution (I won't go into the details of how and why I decided to 'cause I don't remember much. Everything seems so hazy at that time).
I was surprised that I didn't HATE accounting (I created this assumption in my head during my years in secondary school that I would totally hate it after hearing what my peers think of it, considering the fact that I never took up this subject in school).

Yes, I don't hate it. But do I LOVE it? Most definitely not! I would gladly put away all the accounting problems I have to solve and just lay on the couch and read a good book.

When I've finally come to terms with that, I decided that it's high time to figure out what my passion is. After going through websites after websites, self-help books after self-help books, I still don't know what passions I have that I could use to mould into a career.

In a previous post, I blogged about some of the ambitions I have growing up. Well, one thing that I'm certain of right now is that my dream of becoming a sociologist is definitely over. Instead, I found my heart lingering on becoming a lawyer. (I know I mentioned that I gave up my dream of becoming a lawyer a long time ago, but lately, this ambition just keeps coming back to me).

From what it seems to me, there're LOADS of lawyers out there. They're everywhere! I doubt my ability of becoming and succeeding as one in the future. However this time, I tried to refrain myself from talking myself out of this dream. I figure that I should just hold on to this ambition for a little while and see where fate leads me.

*Sighs* If only it were that easy.

Should I continue this programme?
I'm not sure. In fact, I'm not sure about everything anymore. This sucks.

If I quit, one year's worth of my efforts would've gone to waste. Maybe I could just hang in there. I'm not sure... but maybe I will.

I guess it's because of my personality but I don't like to quit or give up AFTER I've put in my sweat and tears and time and tears again into something.

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