Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Just some thoughts...


My friends used to play a game with me in primary school- they would place me in a situation they came up with and give me two choices for me to pick. There's one particular 'situation' I remember quite clearly- my friend, M, asked what I would rather have: my current friends or all the money I could ever ask for. Being just 10 years old at that time, I answered that I would rather have my friends as money can be obtained as long as I could get a job. After that, M along with a couple of my besties laughed  and teased me for being silly. They told me that I could easily make new friends even if I let go of the old ones. I was rather upset by that remark as I felt that they were implying that they could easily replace me with a new friend. Just as M had predicted, slowly but surely, we drifted apart after primary school. Though we sometimes chat online, the easy friendship we used to share was gone.

    Over the years, my best friends are replaced by newer ones. Former besties become merely a friend while some become more of an acquaintance rather than a friend. I guess friends do help me grow and help me cross to another phase of my life. Once I'm there, newer friends come along and help me through it. 

    Few days ago, I went on a movie date with some of my old school mates. Already I felt the distance between us growing even though it's only been weeks since I left Form 6 for college. I was quite bothered that I felt that way. I guess they sensed that I was not feeling comfortable with the situation but didn't know the reason why. Sometimes, I find myself wishing that I could turn back time and slow it down so that the wonderful moments I had with my friends could be relived. But then, I do not want to relive my NS days... Sure, I've made awesome friends there but the thought of waking up at 4.45am for another 3 months just to relive the moment? Um, no thanks. I'm just glad I met them...

    One of my besties, S, is also starting a new phase in her life- college life. Sadly, she's currently studying in Peninsular Malaysia. If only we could get through this phase with her living near me.... Anyways, at least we still talk over the phone and she didn't make me feel that I could easily be replaced with a click of the fingers.

Today, I'm feeling...nostalgic. I never like that feeling.

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